By definition, to be intertwined means to connect two or more things together or to unite by twining one with another. This definition is best epitomized through the closely linked bonds in my relationship with mom and other women of the family, whom I consider to be “pillars” in my life due to their crucial contributions to my uprising.
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9. In Memoriam
A year ago today, my family and I suffered the loss of my beloved aunt. She was diagnosed with Leukemia seven months (September 2015) after my mother finished her radiation therapy. In other posts, I will share this story as well, but for now I would like to share a letter I’ve written to her.
8. A Family Portrait
One afternoon in February 2015, I remember calling mom from my apartment. That day I had not been able to visit because I was occupied cleaning, so I had called mom to see how she was doing. After several exchanges of various conversations, mom asked me to take her to Walmart the next day. Initially, I thought she just needed to buy a few things for the house or get some clothes. In reality, mom had a bucket list request: she wanted to meet Ricky Martin.
7. The Bell of Victory
Mom’s last radiation therapy session was on March 3, 2015. In the waiting room area there was a bell attached to wall. This bell had a special significance because it represented the patient’s victory in completing their radiation therapy sessions. Every time a patient would finish their last session, they’d ring the bell in celebration of reaching another milestone in the treatment process.
6. An Encouraging Celebration
Overall, cancer treatments take a toll on you physically and emotionally. One of the most important things to do for your family member is to be empathetic and provide a lot of support. This will eventually begin to sow seeds of encouragement and help boost a person’s self-esteem.
5. A Solid Tree
“As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight. You breathe. Keep breathing. When there is a storm and you stand in front of a tree, if you look at its branches, you swear it will fall. But if you watch the trunk, you will see its stability.” – The Revenant
This quote from the film, “The Revenant”, struck a chord to me the first time I heard it. I realize now that it epitomizes mom’s overall resilience. At the same time, I also notice that I was more concerned of the branches instead of the trunk of mom’s tree throughout the entire cancer process.
4. Beauty Comes From Within
Cancer is a very intimidating word; it’s scary. No one likes to hear it because the most common association is directly with the word “death”. The last word anyone associates it with is “beauty”. One of the most important lessons I learned from mom during this battle with cancer is that real beauty comes within yourself. Illness doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re ugly or frail; it can also represent strength and beauty.
3. Learning To Let Go
It was very difficult to witness all the struggles mom had endured since she began the cancer treatment. Mom has always been a woman of strength and independence; someone resourceful and capable of resolving things on her own. During the entire process of diagnosis and treatment mom had struggles accepting the idea that she had to rely on doctors and myself to help her get through things one at a time. For me, it was particularly difficult to convey strength in front of her while seeing her physical and emotional pain. I would have done anything to prevent my mother from having gone through the treatment process, but it was out of my control – and THAT was very hard to deal with. All I could do was simply be there for mom and make the most of my efforts.
2. On The Road To Recovery
After the double mastectomy, mom went through at least three months of recovery. The process was slow, but mom was doing well – the doctors were very pleased with the progress. Thankfully, my sister had flown to P.R. during this time, so having her around during the recovery period gave me some peace of mind while I was working.
1. Where have I been?
Well, it’s been quite some time since my last post. Life has taken up most of my time and I realize now that this particular blog would’ve been the perfect refuge to document my emotions during the last few years. Despite that realization, I tend to be a very reserved person with my personal battles, so I guess that in essence has influenced my decision not to post things immediately.
It’s been 5 years exactly since I moved to Puerto Rico, but this time I have returned back home to my beloved New York. In that time I managed to pursue and complete Graduate school (I recently graduated from my Master’s program). A LOT of things has happened in my life, but the most significant and impacting experiences have occurred within the last two years.
This blog is focused on my relationship with mom, so I am ready to share our most recent uphill battle:
Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2014.
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