“As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight. You breathe. Keep breathing. When there is a storm and you stand in front of a tree, if you look at its branches, you swear it will fall. But if you watch the trunk, you will see its stability.” – The Revenant
This quote from the film, “The Revenant”, struck a chord to me the first time I heard it. I realize now that it epitomizes mom’s overall resilience. At the same time, I also notice that I was more concerned of the branches instead of the trunk of mom’s tree throughout the entire cancer process.
In general, mom has overcome struggle after struggle. My mother comes from a very humble family that lived in a wooden home and a zinc rooftop in the countryside of Puerto Rico. My grandparents didn’t even know how to read and write, but they made every effort to make sure mom would get an education. Mom raised my sister and I as a single parent all while facing many hurdles throughout the years. She always worked hard to make ends meet and made sure that she could provide us with the very best.
Being the youngest child, I always witnessed most of mom’s suffering throughout the years. We were always together, so I got the insights “behind the scenes”. Naturally, when I got the news of her breast cancer I perceived it as the drop that overflowed the cup because I felt mom had been through enough struggles and that this one was just unfair.
I’ve always known mom as a person of strength, but when you get the news of a loved one battling cancer your heart just drops. The first couple of months were very difficult for me to assimilate things and cope with my emotions because I was overwhelmed with the “What If” scenarios, seeking logic to the situation, and mentally going through the past struggles. I interpret that now as the branches referred to in the quote because those were all secondary issues that were consuming my mind and deviating me from seeing the root of the tree represented by mom’s image. I failed (or perhaps underestimated) to see her true inner strength and that made me more anxious than I should’ve been.
Mom always comforted me and repeated on several occasions “Don’t worry, I’m going to be fine. This is not here to stay.” I found this to be so ironic because I felt it was my role to provide comfort, but I guess mom knew I was having difficulty coping with the situation. Nevertheless, it was comforting to see how mom was remaining optimistic and focusing on the brighter side of things rather than succumbing to her emotions and letting it drag her down. I know that it must’ve been difficult for mom to show strength despite feeling pain and weakness, but that is precisely one of the things I admire most about her – her ability to stand firm amidst the worse situations. The trunk of her tree is so deeply rooted that no storm can bring it down; those branches flow with the wind with utmost flexibility.
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